Child-induced depression

No matter what I think parenting just wrecks you. Becoming one. And then we get no support to be able to fight against that and recover ourselves

Then you just end up...

Pissed off and helpless trying to grab hold of yourself again and be what you need to be for that kid who is your entire world. 

This isn't what I want. I want to be supported in the thing that's important to me. Someone to care. And then I want to feel like the community has my back. 

It feels like there is no community- You just do everything absolutely on your own. You don't fit anywhere. 

This critical interaction to give you security outside your personal life doesn't exist. Why?

The art of being Wrong

Without taking a risk, and losing, it’s impossible to understand the art of being wrong.

There is such beauty in the pain, raw energy.

Pain and joy feel nearly the same. Not comfortable. The sharp sting of reality.

And nausea. Shame. Not knowing if you'll be understood. If you'll be met with acceptance or disdain.

All of this is the exhiliration of actually living. If all you do is the same thing you've already been doing, over and over, you're not living. You're already dead.

Pain is power.

Being wrong is being alive.

I am opening up to the heavy probability- I was wrong. I AM wrong. I allow myself to be....

for in this moment, for the first time, I am powerful. ME!

This person, so shattered and so unwanted by those that had the opportunity to nurture me. Matters.